We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
