I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
