Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
