I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
