i need an iv and a liver transplant
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i may or may not be watching the land before time
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
