some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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