Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
