You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
