So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
