She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
