im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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