You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
