ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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