Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
