You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
