I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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