haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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