If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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