he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
