you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
