At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
