Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
