the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
