Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
