Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
