Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
