There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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