Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
