mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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