Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Are my feet made of real feet?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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