But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
