we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
