You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
