ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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