Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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