SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
