That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
