If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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