My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
