i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
They have beer where we have blood.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
