Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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