I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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