He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
