piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
