I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
