so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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