K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
