a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
