Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
