I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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