Fine. I'll sleep in my office
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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